Panic Attacks

I feel like not good enough, I feel like I’m the most stupid, immature person alive. My job, I love my job. Being a journalist was a dream came true. Alhamdulillah, God gave me such a golden opportunity but now… I feel like I lost my motivation. I’m drowning in despair. I lost the fun. Now, I have to collect the remains of my interest and pull my motivation back to my body.

Mom, I miss my mother. I miss my father. I miss my sisters. I envy all my friends who lived with their family together in one roof. I have to lived away with my family and this is my first time in my life been away from them. And I tell you, that was really hard. Sometimes, I cried in the middle of the night only because of looking my parents photos.

I lost the motivation and I HAVE TO GET IT BACK. No matter what, I have to work hard. I have to, no compromise. Because that’s what I’m doing here! I’m working, that’s why I’ve been away from my family, so I have to work hard!

I hope, I hope, everything always be fine, always be alright.



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