Jiwa yang tenang hanya bisa diraih kalau kita yakin. Kita yakin karena itulah kita jadi tenang, tidak tergesa-gesa atau terburu-buru. Tapi tak berarti diam saja tak melakukan apa-apa.
Keyakinan bisa kita rasa jika kita sudah berusaha dan berdoa pada Tuhan. Saat usaha telah maksimal, doa telah sepenuh hati, yakinlah insya Allah semuanya akan dijabah pada waktu yang tepat.
Jangan menginterupsi Tuhan dalam mengabulkan keinginanmu. Dia Maha Tahu segala sesuatu.
Jiwa yang tenang. Yakin. Usaha. Doa. Lalu penyerahan diri.
Tonight we had our first fight, K. It was tiring and disappointing. I wanted to cry but I was too tired.
Mom said both of us have the same character. Kita berdua cuma pintar dalam pikiran tapi jiwa kita kosong. Makanya kita berdua belum bisa dibilang tenang. Ibaratnya jika kita menghambur segenggam beras, tak ada satu butir pun yang jadi padi.
Karna kalian cuma pakai otak bukan hati, bukan jiwa kalian.
we are going to be together.
K is a candidate of a doctor. He’s been studying medical since 2008 and now he is having his co-ass phase. He spends all his time only in hospital, but every weekend, he has free time, it means he is with me (yey!) or with his friends.
That’s why maybe tonight, he showed me his never-ending attention (again) by coming into my house. Yes, abruptly. Like usual.
“I’m on my way to your home”, he said.
“What for?”, I asked.
“I want to give you things”, he replied.
“Oke”, I said.
Next time I knew, one carton of Asam Mefenamat 500mg contains 10 strips and one carton of Paracetamol with the same dosage, were in my hand.
“Are your teeth okay?”, K asked.
“Yes”, I answered.
“I read your line but I thought it’s too late. You wrote your gums were swollen”, he said. “So these are some drugs to reduce the pain”,
It’s not one strip. It’s one carton, for Godsake. This man always knows how to surprise me with his exagerrating way.
He brought me also Dilan by Pidi Baiq just because I said I have download the ebook version.
“You needn’t read the ebook. Just read this”, he handed me the paperback.
And then he’s gone back home.
I don’t need drugs, he is my cure. You are my cure.
Hari ini K menulis note yang manis sekali. Dia menunjukkannya padaku dan aku ingin mempostingnya disini.
Dua toples kue yang kau beri, kutahu didalamnya ada cinta. Entah pada taburan gula putih yang halus atau parutan keju yang gurih.
Makanya biarkan saja kedua kue itu kunikmati sendiri. Biar cintamu tidak terbagi kemana-mana. Cukup kepadaku saja.
Malam ini saya menderita gusi bengkak untuk kesekian kalinya, yang membuatku tak bisa tidur. Tapi membaca note ini somehow, magically, bikin sakitnya berkurang.
Minal aidin wal faidzin. Mohon maaf lahir dan batin.
1 Syawal 1436 H
Now I am starting to get use to all your never-ending attention, K.
I feel like I have my own doctor and sometimes police man.
“what time is it now, darling? You should have slept since an hour ago. It’s not good for you to stay up late. You’ll get sick!” you said in your text.
“Don’t eat to much chilli. Your stomach will hurt”, you said.
And everytime in the late at night, you’ll wake me up for suhuur. With your adorable and charming voice which I love.
It’s funny how love can make me this way. Like this kind of person who posts everything about you this couple weeks. And I’ll do it more often until I run out of words.
I trust you, K.
Since the day I met you, K, I always wonder what love is, what it is made of. How love can make us this way. How is it even possible for two people love each other when they used to be stranger?
Or what makes me think that giving my heart to you is a good idea? what crossed my mind when I decided to be together with you until the end?
You are love, sweetheart. You are the jacket that protects me in a cold weather. You are my living-alarm that awakes me every single night. You are the ice cream melted in my tongue. You are my skipping heartbeat, the butterflies in my stomach. You are the man I can trust and rely on. You are my reminder of my pray. You are all my favorite things in mind. You show me love and affection and attention without being cheesy. You make me laugh and happy. You tell me a story of us in the future.
You want me only to love you and to be by your side and I surely will do. You take me as I am and never worried about my flaws.
“I can’t cook”, I said. “It’s okay”, you said.
“I always wake up late”, I said. “I’ll wake you up”, you said.
“I am getting sick easily”, I said. “I’ll take care of you”, you said.
“I don’t like working. It is tiring”, I said. “Don’t work. I will fulfill everything you need”, you said.
“Okay”, I said. “Okay”, you said.
Thank you, K, to have found me.
and please. don’t make all of these things become bullshit in the future.
Maybe it’s because of Ramadhan. Where all muslims must gain so many rewards. Therefore, they must do many kinds of pray.
Or maybe it’s only because of himself. Who does all kinds of pray during Ramadhan on time.
Everytime we talk via line, he ends first.
“It’s adzan already, Ri”,-
He loves God more than he loves me.
And that makes me love him even more.
How blessed and thankful I am having him by my side.