Marriage is

Let’s admit it. When you are in early 30, settled, and you are still single and alone, it probably means something is wrong with you.

People around you will rise one and only question: when will you get married?

As if getting married is as easy as changing songs on our iPod.

No.

I, myself, think that getting married is a big thing. There are many things we should consider before we decide to do it. It’s not a cheap thing. It’s not only about two people love each other living together. No. It’s not only about I love you and you love me so let’s do it. No.

It needs long term commitment. It takes a hundred years responsibility, patience, sincerity, hardworking and forever and ever compromise.

But it doesn’t mean that marriage is scary and horrifying. No. So many friends of mine finally found their meaning of life after they have family to take care of, husband and children to raise. Marriage is the peak of man and woman relationship. Once they reach the peak, there would be so much hurricane they have to survive. If they don’t, they will fall apart.

The key is sticking together.

P.S: I found this note in my folder, I can’t believe I wrote this. I can’t believe I sounded so expert in this thing while I’m not married, yet.

Ri

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Kuat

Apa yang membuat suatu hubungan menjadi kuat melawan waktu? Menurutmu?
Apa yang membuat misalnya Papi dan Mami sanggup menjalani pernikahan puluhan tahun hingga sekarang.
Apakah karena cinta?
Apakah karena komitmen?
Atau apa karena hal-hal lainnya?

Lalu apakah karena suatu hubungan tidak memiliki hal-hal diatas, maka hubungan tersebut akan berakhir?

Ri

Overwork

I remember that one of my considerations not to choose him was about his work. I know him. I know that he loves working and I feel that I can't accept his work hour which is sometimes pass midnight or maybe until 2 am.

But now that I have committed to him, I care about him so I feel sorry. I'm worried about his overwork will affect to his health. He was complaining that he's got headache and the best thing I can do was nothing. I feel bad.

I'm looking forward to the nights I can caress his head every time he's home and needs my hand. I'm waiting to the days I can take care of him and remind him about how important he is to me so he must pay attention to himself.

Now that we are miles apart. I hope our heart is near.

Sunshine

Demam

Saya baru pulang dari trip Ijen-Bromo beberapa hari yang lalu. Sekarang, saya terbaring lemah di kasur, merasakan panas tubuhku semakin tinggi. Saya kena demam.

Seumur hidup, sebelum Ijen dan Bromo, saya hanya pernah hiking di satu tempat, yaitu di Grand Canyon, US.

Semalam, saya mengirim email ke mantan pacar dan saya berakhir dengan membaca percakapan kami di email yang kami kirim di masa lalu yang jauh.

Salah satunya adalah saat saya bercerita padanya tentang pendakian ke Grand Canyon itu.

Saya menulis bahwa disana sangat indah, dan betapa susahnya bagi saya untuk mendaki dan menuruninya. Namun saya tetap keukeuh melakukannya.

Sepulang dari Grand Canyon, saya meringkuk di kamar hotel dan tidak bisa menyaksikan sunset karena badanku demam.

Di email dia mengatakan bahwa hanya kita yang tau sampai mana batas kemampuan fisik kita. Dan betapa saya sering sekali melewatinya.

Saya sudah lupa bahwa perjalanan saya selama dua bulan di Amerika saat itu, terekam pula di email-email yang kami kirimkan. Dan betapa saya dan dia sebenarnya tak pernah benar-benar kehilangan kontak meskipun kami tidak lagi bersama-sama.

Ri

Perasaan

Siapa yang mengatur perasaan kita sesungguhnya? Apakah kita yang memiliki hati kita? Ataukah Tuhan yang mengendalikannya sebab Dia Maha Memiliki dan Maha Kaya sedangkan kita hanya seperti debu.

Memutuskan menikah adalah perkara yang paling besar yang kuambil selama 29 tahun umurku. Dan saat ini, laki-laki yang mengajakku untuk menghabiskan sisa hidup bersamanya adalah laki-laki yang paling tidak kuduga kedatangannya.

Kupikir takkan ada perasaan yang tumbuh untuknya. Kupikir akan canggung segala apa dengannya.

Tapi disinilah saya, menemukan diriku menulis ini sambil merasakan ada kupu-kupu dalam perutku setelah bertelpon dengannya sekian jam.

Saya tak punya rencana akan seperti ini. Saya hanya mengikuti arusnya. Jika memang jodoh, insya Allah dimudahkan.

Ri

At Night

Night is the scary thing. The moment when I rarely do something but looking at my bedroom's ceiling thinking, daydreaming.
And the most thing I hate to think of but apparently the most often, is about you.
How you left me.
How precious our time together in the past was.
How sweet your promises were.
But still, all of them are not enough to make you stay.
By my side.

Why am I such a fool when it comes to you?
I hate myself.
I wish Allah SWT grants me the man who is hundred times better than you.
(and I can't believe what I've just wished it's true from my heart because after all this time I've been wanting you to come back. God knows I want you only – how sad it is- I know it's only a wishful thinking)

Maybe I'm just too tired.

Ri