Get Up

Sakitku sudah berangsur-angsur membaik hari ini. Entah apa yang membuatku bangkit dan kembali  bersemangat. 

Hari ini banyak sekali kabar bahagia dari kawan-kawan dan saudaraku.

Isti’s tolobalango. 

Amel’s sweet 17 birthday will be held in PH Pettarani

….

And at the end of the day, Akbar called. He said sorry for being such a jerk lately. He promised to come in Amel’s day this Friday. I said thank you for making time. 

He said, “what I did can’t compare to what you did to me, Ri. You are just the kindest”.

It blew me away. 

I love you, thank you very much. 

RI

Mati

Every living creature will eventually die.

Saat sakit begini, saya sering mengingat mati. Rasanya kematian sudah dekat untukku. 

Tapi Tuhan, saya belum menikah. Agamaku belum sempurna tanpa itu. Saya juga belum membahagiakan kedua orang tuaku. Mama sering bilang kalau saya adalah anaknya yang paling berdosa karena suka melawan. 

Kedua hal itu yang selalu kupikirkan setiap kali mengingat kematian. 

Saya mau hidup sederhana. Saya tidak suka bekerja di kantor. Saya mau jadi istri dan seorang ibu yang produktif. Saya mau punya suami yang sayang padaku, membawaku berlibur setiap bulan dan membuatku bahagia disampingnya. Saya mau anak-anak yang lucu. Bersama, kami akan bercanda, tertawa, makan dan bermain dengan gembira. 

Hidup seperti itu rasanya indah, Tuhan. Bisakah kau memberikanku hidup seperti itu sebelum aku mati? 

RI

Sakit

Saat sakit begini, saya mau ditelepon dan ditanya mau makan apa? sudah minum obat belum? How is your feeling?

Tapi tidak ada satupun yang kau tanyakan padaku. 

Instead, you told me you haven’t had dinner, you’ve just up from sleep and there was no motorcycle you could use to find food.

So I said, I hated you. 

I want you to know that when a woman who loves you said she hated you, she never meant it. 

Sometimes I don’t know why I want to be with you. Am I deserved to get the kind of love like this. Or am I the “bad one” in our relationship? Or maybe I had watched too many romantic movies so I want my love life to be like one of them? But if I had and I do, am I wrong? 

RI 

Disappointing

There’s a hole in my chest when you make me disappointed. You are the only person I think about no matter how distracted I am in office. You appear in a flash, in a blink, in my mind. You always come together with the pain until I ask you to get out.

 

I forget that whenever we love, pain follows.

 

 

RI

Happiness

Hello!

Ini sudah pukul 2 dini hari. Seperti biasa, saya terbangun lagi seperti hari-hari sebelumnya selama seminggu belakangan.

Kemarin, 9 Oktober 2016. Saya benar-benar ingin menulis sebagai sesuatu yang akan saya ingat dan kenang nantinya. 

Ponakan keduaku lahir. 

It’s a boy again. Warni, kakakku, harus menyerahkan perutnya dibelah lagi di meja operasi. Alhamdulillah, both baby and mother are in a healthy condition. 

  He was born at 6:45am. dengan berat 2.6kg dan tinggi 46cm. 

Setelah itu, saya pulang sama Bapak ke rumah dan malamnya, my boyfriend asked me to have dinner with his family. 

It was my first experience so I was a little bit nervous. He was, too. I was worried if things wouldn’t happen as I planned or expected. 

Tapi sungguh, orang tua dan adeknya sangat welcome. Saya banyak mengobrol dengan mamanya yang ternyata punya banyaak sekali hal untuk diceritakan. 

“Mamaku itu Ri, biasanya diam kalau ketemu sama orang baru. Nah, ini kenapa kalian ngobrol banyak?” katanya. 

Pertama kali saya melihat dan salim ke orang tuanya, saya tahu kalau bisa nyaman duduk semobil dengan mereka. Perasaan nyaman yang sama yang saya rasakan setiap kali bersama Akbar. 

It was rained the entire evening. Akbar took me home at 10pm. 

I was happy and thankful. 

Alhamdulillah. 

RI

Good Partner

As a good partner, I should understand and be patient when he’s busy in hospital. I mean really busy he can’t even call or reply even one text/ chat. I should understand when his girl friend comes to town and he asked permission to spend days with her. Like he did last weekend. 

I lost my weigh these last six months due to my depression. Nobody knows about the reason. Everytime Mom or Akbar or my friends ask, I only say: I don’t have appetite to eat. Mom say I have lost half of my body. 

Akbar is concern,too. He puts attention to my weigh now. Everytime he calls, he reminds me to eat much. Last night we met he said he has the special programme.
“I want to gain your weigh! I will treat you eating delicious food so you will be fat again!” 

I laughed. I okayed him.

How sweet of him really. 
His family is coming next week and he asked me to meet them. 

RI 

The City

I got an offer to work out of town, to be an editor in a national media. It excited me, really. However, unfortunately I said no. 

I can’t leave Makassar again. I don’t want to. 

Years ago, I wanted to go out from this city so much. Every place somehow reminded me of the memories I want to forget. 

But then I came back and I met Akbar and I turned to love this city so much. My family is here either. My Mom also forbids me to leave home before I get marry. 

I start to make beautiful memories here and make it as homey as I could.  

Ah, anyway, I am going to teach again on Monday! It’s a small office in Haji Bau Street, near Wisma Kalla. Different challenge, different place. 

Allah knows best. 

RI