Leaving School

WhatsApp Image 2018-12-12 at 1.55.38 PM

Today was my last day in BCI School. I got a sweet little surprise farewell from my colleagues. They got in to Toddler class, where I had been waiting, and they sang “Kemesraan”. They gave me presents: a handbag and two photos framed. I was so happy I cried.

Actually it’s so hard for me to leave school. It’s been my comfort zone for the past two years. I go to school at 6.30 in the morning, got home at 4.00 in the afternoon. I teach many classes, I meet my students, talk to the parents, make worksheets, do the administration things, attend the weekly meeting, and the rest is having fun- school has many holidays every year. The salary is pretty good, I can help my family to pay this and that every month. I can eat well, I can buy dresses I want, I can watch movies in cinema, I can hang out with my friends and everything. It’s just so hard for me to leave the habit, the things I do everyday, the things I like.

However, I must leave. I must move from here and live with my husband in Jakarta. I must start my married life together with him. Being with him outweighs any perks of living my single life, outweigh any joyful feeling I get from the “comfort zone”.

I am sure that there will be many big things that might not happen if we only stay in our place and never move out of the comfort zone.

and I hope everything that follows after is good things that could bring me and my husband near to the good places, too, someday.

So, see you again, BCI.



I Want To End This Soon

Since I moved back to my old centre, I have this kind of uncomfortable situation. 

That makes me feel “oh, I want to end this soon”, everytime I sit down and start my work. 

I want to go away. I need some escape. 

Or is it possible I am just having bored?

And it will be passed as time goes by? 

Oh,  I had to hurry. I am already late working. 



So I am officially no longer as a daily reporter. I moved to weekly desk called Dialog Jumat.

Rasanya jomplang banget. Dari Jakarta Utara yang keras, harsh, tiba-tiba dipindahin ke desk yang ngurusin Majelis Ta’lim, pengajian, komunitas dan agenda keislaman, narasumber kebanyakan ustadz.

Rina udah di Bandung, Desi di Semarang, Lida juga udah jarang ikut rapat Jumat. Saya pun akhirnya pindah. Masing-masing akhirnya gak ketemu, setelah beberapa lama kompaknya bukan main.

I miss them so much, when we were still hanging around together. Sleepover, plan an escape…

Saya tidak nyaman dengan keadaan ini, tapi saya menolak untuk membenci. Perasaan benci itu memakan semangat dan pikiran rasional kita dari dalam. Benci itu mempersempit pikiran dan saya tidak mau hal itu terjadi. Saya tahu ada sesuatu di balik semua ini.

Allah knows best while we don’t. So, saya memasrahkan semuanya.