Semoga segera ada cahaya di ujung jalan yang gelap dan terasa berat. 

Semoga ada seseorang lain yang ceria dan baik hati menunggu di ujung jalan itu untuk menjadi teman saat ingin melanjutkan perjalanan yang jauh.

Semoga tak lama lagi ya Allah. 


Show me the way as you’ve shown them who are faithful to You. 



Passed Away

What happen after we have passed away? 

We will be forgotton. We’re gone forever. Our loved ones might erase  all the memories about us. Losing us would hurt, but as time goes by, the feeling will fade. 

We will be there under the ground alone. Maybe there will be another life, but not like this. 

Are you afraid? 

Yes, I am.

Are you ready?

No, I am not.

I feel like I am the most sinned creature ever lived. My body is full of mistakes and wrongs. Nobody’s like me. I don’t deserve any kind of heaven. But I also can’t take hell as my last home. 

I am afraid of death. Tapi saya lebih takut jika misalnya Bapak atau Mama pergi duluan. It scares the hell out of me. Imagining them gone forever is something I can’t bear. 

Apa yang terjadi setelah kita mati? 


Baking a Birthday Cake


Today is my boyfie’s birthday. As I planned before, today I wanted to bake a cake for him.

For a record, I have never baked a cake before especially for someone. 
So this morning, I asked my mom for the recipe. And after got home from MIWF, I started to collect the ingredients on my kitchen table. 
8 eggs

1 glass of sugar


One spoonful of baking powder

One spoonful of vanili 

Some TBM

2 glasses of flour

some bars of black chocolate

How to make it: 

Mix sugar and eggs with mixer for an hour. 

Meanwhile, melt the butter and mix it with the TBM. 

Mix the butter+tbm with eggs+sugar into the bowl. 

Pour down the flour into the bowl.

Pour it to the loyang. 

bake it for around 45mins.

Melt the black chocolate and put it above the cake. 
Mama bilang kuenya gak terlalu oke dari luar. But it’s okay. 

Sayangnya, pas udah jadi, yang ulang tahun malah gak bisa dihubungi. Hahaha. Jadi sambil menunggu, ya I write this. 

Ini penampakannya, please don’t ketawain ya. Maklum, beginner. Yang penting kan niatnya ya? 


Us in Picture

We’ve reached almost a year, dear. There were some weddings we attended together and we have our own album in Line called “Nikahan” consists all our pictures in wedding party of our friends or family. But this one is my favorite. 
Maybe it shows our happily smile and all. In addition, our clothes look the same in colour, don’t they? It was from yesterday evening in Clarion Hotel. 
There were many wedding parties happening around last weekend. Hopefully next year will be ours they attend.

Thank you for standing by my side. I love you and I will always do. 


The Bright Side

Sudah sejak Januari and I just stay at home. I mean no office working. 
And I have just read a picture in my Line Home, said like this.

“Don’t forget to talk with your parents. Please remember, that they talk to you even when you still learn how to say a word”,

Dan kupikir, inilah yang kulakukan di rumah selama ini. Menjadi anak paling tua (karna kakak PTT di Sinjai), menjadi Inem dan menjadi teman curhat Mama. 
I have been doing okay with Mom. We spent a lot time together. We have done things that I couldn’t do when I was busy in office. 
Now it’s asking for redemption. 

So why not I let it for a while more? 


Anak Bapak

Malam ini saya jadi anaknya Bapak. 

Saudaraku yang lain jadi anaknya Mama.

Kupikir, nanti di masa depan saya akan menjadi seperti Bapak. 

Sama bingungnya seperti Bapak. 

Dan saya akan merasa terpojok karena saudaraku yang lain akan menjadi seperti Mama. 

Sama cerdasnya seperti Mama.

Dikala saya merasa sendiri seperti itu, maukah kau, sayang, merangkulku? 

lalu mengatakan takkan pernah meninggalkan tempatmu yang sudah ditakdirkan, disampingku?