Haunting Me

Our memories 

I lock them in a drawer

But they’re still haunting me

Anywhere I go

Please don’t look back

For they are not so precious

To you

Keep them in your cells of empty heart

And let your ego eats them all


Favorite Books Ever

Okay. I am sitting here in waiting room in Soekarno Hatta International Airport, Jakarta without company. I am waiting for my flight home and thinking about my favorite books ever. 

It’s hard to decide but I try to remember what books I love. So here is the list: 

1. Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone by J. K. Rowling

This is an epic masterpiece of Rowling ever made. The Harry Potter series actually the books which altered me to be a different person. Because of this books, I begin to find my true color. This is the important book since this is the first installment of Harry Potter. 

2. The Time Traveller’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. 

I will never forget how this book influences me deeply. The love story of Clare and Henry is remarkable and beautiful. 


Blood Sample

Today, two nurses came to our room to take Ahdan’s blood sample. His mom, my Mom and me were there when Ahdan made a high pitch shriek of unbearable pain.

I wish the nurses took my blood instead of Ahdan’s. 

And after an hour of struggling, Ahdan finally fall into slumber. 


Tonight, I saw my sister cried while she was praying. Her fear obviously screened in her face. I couldn’t help and burst into tears silently. 

My nephew, her first son, named Ahdan has been hospitalizing in Jakarta since February. This is his second hospital after Siloam in Makassar. He is 5 months old. His weight is only 3.2 kilograms. He is suffering many abnormalities since he is only 7 months in my sister’s belly. He was born prematurely. 

It breaks my heart into pieces everytime I see my nephew’s condition. He isn’t like any other normal kids who can crawl, who don’t need to hospitalized. Who’s live happily with their parents. And of course, my sister’s heart has been so fucked up. I can’t believe what am I supposed to feel if I were her. I might be crazy and depressed.

So be thankful to your Mom. She is the only one who can’t sleep when you are still awake. She is the only one who’s worrying you when you’re not home yet. She is the only one who willing to live a hard life only for you. 

Every child is every parents’ sunshine. Every child is every parents’ light of life. 


Teh Pagi dan Selimut Hangat 

Ingin kutulis bait-bait puisi yang hangat seperti pelukan ibu. 

Tapi aku hanya punya selimut yang cukup menahan dinginnya pagi  masuk dan membuat gigil. 

Dulu jika aku bersin, ibu akan berlari ke arahku dengan segelas teh panas yang uapnya terbang ke udara.

Ibu akan menasehatiku tanpa jeda, betapa kesehatan itu penting

Dan percuma mimpi dan ambisi kita besar jika tubuh tak mampu menopangnya. 

“Kenapa kau brengsek pada tubuhmu sendiri? Makan! Minum ini!” katanya

Lalu ibu akan memberikan kedua lengannya melingkar di seluruh badanku tanpa berkata apa-apa