Tell Me What is the Best Way to Declare Our Love

Tell me something I am dying want to know.
What is the best way to declare our love to someone we care?

Is it enough to ask them on a typical meeting, in the best place we could imagine. And at the best moment we directly say, “I love you, you know”
Or maybe “hey, I think I’m in love with you”
Or “what do you think about an idea of we go on a date?”
Or we tell a long story about how we end up fall in love with them.

And what if they say,
“Sorry, I am afraid we can’t be together as a couple”,
“No, you have misunderstood about you and me”,
“Sorry, I have girlfriend”,

How can we face that kind of reactions?
How can we hold the tears to stream down our face?
How can we fake our smile, our laugh, to pretend that our feeling is okay after rejection?

Yeah, hold still. Don’t say it if you are too afraid, too worry. Don’t declare your feeling.

But then, how can you know whether she or he has the same feeling with you or not?

Nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say. Right?

But what is the best way?

Sunshine
Makassar, 2014

While We’re Lost in Space

Akhirnya ada waktu lanjutin baca bukunya Maggie Tiojakin berjudul Selama Kita Tersesat di Luar Angkasa- While We’re Lost in Space. Kumcer gitu. Aku baru baca dua cerpen dan menurutku, “gila keren banget”.

Beberapa bulan belakangan, sejak aku kenal Aldiko-salah satu app buat baca e-book di phone, aku makin rajin baca.

Berikut adalah buku-buku yang aku baca:
1. Seperti Dendam Rindu Harus Dibayar Tuntas (completed)
2. Fifty Shades of Grey (completed)
3. Fifty Shades Darker (in progress)
4. The First Phone Call from Heaven (in progress)
5. An Abundance of Katherine (in progress)

Kemarin aku juga udah nonton Divergent nya Veronica Roth. It was amazing! Jadinya aku mau baca Insurgent dan lanjutannya.

Sunshine

Thought

Saya terbangun pagi tadi dan tiba-tiba terlintas ide untuk berhenti dari pekerjaanku sekarang.

Saya bertanya-tanya kapan saya akan pernah merasa settled.

Rumah begitu nyaman, kota tempat lahirku, pekerjaan yang lumayan.

Mungkin karena masih begitu banyak mimpi yang belum terwujud.

Mama asked me to apply for civil servant this year. I wonder what my life would be as civil servant.

No. My heart said.
Okay. My mouth said.

Temen-temen lain enteng banget bisa nyaman di pekerjaannya. Gak pernah pindah.
Sulit untuk satu orang. Mudah untuk beberapa orang yang lain. Kenapa?

Sunshine

Dunia Tanpa Senyummu

Malam ini saya membayangkan dunia tanpa senyummu.
Tak ada gairah, kaku dan renggang.
Seperti jari-jari tangan, seperti net raket bulu tangkis yang kehilangan genggaman.

Senyummu memeluk ingatanku erat untuk selalu mengingat wajahmu.
Wajahmu mengecup pelan debaran jantungku,
yang seringkali menerakan namamu.
Dan di setiap namamu ada kisah kita.

Di setiap kita ada ingatan, cinta dan masa depan.

Senyumanmu bukan kepura-puraan,
Bukan bahan basa basi,
Bukan kepalsuan.
Tiga hal yang dijadikan lebih penting bagi beberapa orang.

“Palsukan saja!”
“senyum itu sedekah loh”

Kau menunduk malu.
Tapi bukan malu-malu.

“Aku tak bisa hidup di dunia bahkan untuk sekedar satu senyuman saja harus dipalsukan”,

“cukup cintamu saja yang palsu. Rambutmu palsu, identitasmu palsu”.

“Tolong, jangan sampai senyummu pun ikut-ikut dipalsukan”

Sunshine

Happy Eid Mubarak!

Hellooo!
For this post I want to say happy Eid Mubarak for all my Moslem brother and sister! May Allah grants us with love and mercy.

This year, I celebrate Eid Fitri with my family in first day and with my best friends in second day. I was beyond happy. Alhamdulillah.

Talking about my bestfriends, I called it Calistoseven. Until now it’s been seven years since our first time meeting in university. Everytime I gather with them it’s just fun, full of laughter and silly jokes, sometimes motivating and moving. I like them.

It was treasure seeing some people who receive you, who accept you without reservation, without consideration. Unconditional friend. Friends whom you comfortable with. Sharing ideas, talk stupid issues, tell your secret and dirty  habit. That happens when I am with them.

Maybe I am too much, but that’s how I feel. I just can be who I truly am without begging them so they can love me back. So they can make me their friends. Nowadays, that rarely happens. Nowadays, people stab their friends’ back. Currently, people betray people. So when you find love in a perfect place and situation, trust me that worths a world. Keep it.

Sunshine

There Is No Other Way

There is no other way. If you have a dream, you have to work on it. Pursue it by action, daydreaming is not enough and it’s not going to make it happen. Action will.

I set up the picture of University of Aberdeen as my phone wallpaper since 3 months ago. Tonight I am staring at it again and think, “it’s not going to be happened unless you do something about it, Ri”.

But see? I don’t know what slows me down. I don’t know. The biggest reason is me, indeed.

Sunshine